Vermont's "Legal" Seasons
Noah Kahan's Sticks and Budding Lawyer Humor: Vermont Law & Graduate School Style
October 7, 2023 — What do budding lawyers in South Royalton, Vermont do for fun? Or law professors at VT Law & Graduate School for that matter? I have an inside scoop on one class that was asked the scholarly question, “Name the seasons in Vermont, in order, beginning in January.” Most people would say four, some five, others, the enlightened students who’ve spent at least two years in Vermont, might say six, at a stretch. Then there are those really creative types who know the seasons well. Here’s a selective sampling of responses from some bright, fun-loving, young legal minds as we rustle ever-deeper into fall-foliage season, followed by some seasonal thoughts of my own:
“Winter, mud season, spring, summer, fall, stick season” (This represents many student responses. Noah Kahan, the popular musician from Strafford, VT, gets credit for “stick season” showing up in many student answers. They get better. Read on!)
“Winter, False Spring, Revenge of the Snow, Mud Season, Spring, Rain, Hot Rain, ColdTM?, Summer- and this answer is getting too long” (Guessing this slightly jaded respondent has been living in Vermont for more than a year or two.)
“Snow season, mud season, summer, flood season, fall season, stick season” (It’s sounding to me like Noah Kahan, the Strafford, VT musical phenom has worked his way into people’s minds and lives with his wildly popular song, “Stick Season”)
“Winter, fools winter, mud season, fake spring, spring, summer, fall, sticks, winter” (Yup, getting closer to the mark! I’d give this one a B+. “fools winter” is a new one for me. And Noah Kahan’s stick-conscious influence keeps on coming.)
“Winter spring in June summer august winter november” (I’ll take it, with a smile — still, needs work and some fall foliage acuity.)
“Winter, sugar season, mud season, spring, summer/construction season, fall, stick season” (Love this one! '“Construction season” is definitely a thing as any summer road crew will tell you. And loving the sugar season. A-)
“winter, second winter, mud, spring, summer, fall, stick, winter” (My guess is that this student has only been living in Vermont for two years. Might need a third year to fully comprehend the full array of seasons. A solid B-)
“Cold - Rain - Mud - 3-weeks sunshine - Rain - Mud - Cold. Wash, rinse, and repeat!” (Way better than the last response. B+)
“Snow, Kinda Spring, More Cold, Mud Season!!!, Summer (finally), Hot/Rain/Hot/Rain, Fall!, Winter” (Okay, okay, now we’re getting closer!)
“Winter, second winter, mud season, spring, black bug, summer, fall” (Now we’re getting real. “Black fly” (nice try) season is a real season, and a painful one at that! Now even I’m learning some new micro-seasonalities.)
“wet season, sunmer, fall, winter (Yep. It sure was wet this past summer, but not as a replacement for spring. And “sunmer?” ‘A’ for effort, but a solid C-)
“Winter, fake spring, second winter, mud season, spring, kinda fall, spring, summer but kinda fall again, summer, summer plus, rain, fall, summer agin, fall, flatlanders coming to see the leaves change, stick season, winter” (Love this!!! I give it an A)
“Winter for too long” (I suggest this student get some warm wool socks. a pair of snowshoes, and get outside in winter. Sounds like it’s cabin fever season to me.)
“Winter, winter, winter, spring, summer for a week, fallllll, another summer, fallll , winter” (I don’t have high hopes this student will stay in Vermont after law school ends.)
“Winter, mud season, Fall” (Nice try but far too short. No grade. I’d hand it back and ask for a redo.)
Winter, stick season, mud season, fake spring, winter again, real spring, rainy season, summer, fake fall, fall, winter (Not bad. Still missing some seasons though.)
All these scholarly legal inputs have helped me arrive at a comprehensive list of the season’s in Vermont — starting in January, of course, and in order, more or less…(the real seasons are bolded).
Winter, Snow season, Cold season, Frozen-nose-hair season, Ice-fishing season, Squeaky-snow-underfoot season, Pond-hockey season, Hypothermic-toe season, Slight-warming-trend season, Fools-winter season, More-cold-and-snow season, Final-XC-ski-on-the-VAST-trail season, Tap-the-maple-tree season, Put-out-the-tap-line season, Slush season, Snowplow-digs-up-the-driveway season, Maple-sugarin’ season, Mud season, Bud season, Leaf-out season, Wood-splitting-and-stacking season, Black-fly season, Spring, Bear-in-the-bird-feeder season, Final-frost season, Cabin-fever season, Tick season, Plant-the-garden-and-pray-for-no-more-frost season, Paint-the-picnic-table season, Road-construction season, Rotted-clapboard-replacement season, Final-exam season, Summer, Rain season, Monsoon season, Flood season, Rivers-cresting-at-historic-levels season, Study-for-the-bar-exam season, Maple-creamee season, Take-the-bar-exam season, Construction-to-replace-washed-out-road season, More-flood season, Bar-exam-results season, Trout-fishing season, Fall, Apple-picking season, Exterior-painting season, Foliage season, Flatlander-congestion season, Can’t-get-a-restaurant-or-hotel-room-reservation season, Leaf-raking season, More-leaf-raking season, Blisters-on-palms-from-too-much-leaf-raking season, Drive-around-Vermont-and-enjoy-the-fall-colors season, Take-out-the-dock-at-the-pond season, Garlic-planting season, Bear-hunting season, Stick season, Ski-swap season, Back-to-school season, Return-of-COVID season, Light-the-wood-stove season, Deer-hunting season, Cluster-fly season, Turn-on-the-heat season, Snow-making-at-Sugarbush season, Dark-as-pitch-early-in-the-afternoon season, Snow season, Downhill-ski season, More-snow season, First-cold season, Final-exam-for-law-student season…and back to Winter…rinse, repeat season…
That’s all from here during what’s soon to be Stick Season. Thank you Noah Kahan for bringing this previously unknown and magical season into the musical spectrum and diurnal consciousness of all our non-Vermont friends and budding Vermont Law and Graduate School legal scholars.
Fun-in-the-law-shool-classroom season never ends!
Dave Celone, vice president of alumni relations and development at Vermont Law and Graduate School, writes from Sharon, Vermont where he’s always embroiled in some new seasonal adventure.